


Don't Let Me Die In Vain

by TigerLilyNoh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Demon!Dean, M/M, trials!sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerLilyNoh/pseuds/TigerLilyNoh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: How would you want Destiel to become canon?</p><p>This is one of the ways I would've liked for them to end the show, but it's not really an option for the moment.  Takes place after the season nine finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Me Die In Vain

“Please, I’m begging you.  Sammy, don’t do this.”  

Tears fell from Dean’s eyes as he struggled against the iron manacles.  His flesh had stopped burning from the contact after the fifth injection, but each vial of Sam’s blood only made him feel worse in a completely different way.

At first when he’d realized that Sam intended to sacrifice his life to cure him, Dean had laughed.  Yet as the purified blood cleansed the corruption from him, he remembered how much he loved his little brother.  With every ounce of blood Dean became more desperate to save Sam.  But he couldn’t.  

He was helpless, chained to a chair in the bunker’s basement dungeon.  It was just the two of them and Sam was intent.  He’d pled, screamed, even threatened, but Sam held fast.  Despite the book-smarts and the puppy dog eyes, Sam’s greatest strength had always been his conviction.  Once again it would be the death of him.  
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“I’m doing this.”  Sam was shaking violently and Dean had to look away when Sam missed his vein twice with the syringe.  It had been devastating to see the cost of the cure firsthand.  In the church a year earlier, Dean had only see the result- how it had brought Sam to his last breaths, but that time he had been able to stop it.

Once again, Dean tried praying for Cas.  Maybe he could come and stop Sam from making such a dumb mistake, but nothing happened.  Dean had feared that angels couldn’t hear the prayers of demons, but he’d hoped that maybe right before the end he’d be human enough.  He wasn’t.  The poison was still in him, ready to creep back and infect his soul anew.  Worse, Sam knew it too.

“You have to promise me, that you won’t kill yourself or make a deal.”  Sam said as he finished drawing the blood into the syringe and pulling it from his arm.  “If I’m going upstairs, you can’t be doing anything to get thrown in the pit again.”

“I’m not going to just give up-“

"I’m not asking you to, but you’re the one that you can’t give up on.”  Sam looked Dean in the eyes.  "Promise me that you’ll try to find some happiness.  When we meet up again, I want you to have a lot of stories to tell me.“

"Sammy, I can’t-”  Dean choked out through the tightness in his throat.

“Yes, you can.  Your whole life you’ve put the job before your own happiness-”

“Except for the last few months-”

“Just stop- stop with the guilt & self-loathing.  Don’t settle for a life of pain because you’re too damn scared to fight for something more.  I get that you can’t stand looking at yourself in the mirror- God, I know that feeling better than anyone.  But you have to forgive yourself.  You have to give yourself permission to be happy… or you’ll only cause more suffering and this,”  Sam gestured at their situation.  "this’ll be for nothing…  Don’t be so damn stubborn that my death will be in vain.“

Dean shook his head, unable to speak.  Too much had come to the surface too fast.  Sam took the syringe and pressed the needle into Dean’s neck.

"Promise me.”  Sam waited.  Dean just stared up at him with tear-filled eyes.  He’d hold out in the hope that Sam wouldn’t take the gamble.  His lips trembled with fear & tension when he saw Sam’s expression soften.  “Fine… Just remember that I believe in you.”

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but the pressure from the injection temporarily flooded his senses.  He felt dizzy and lightheaded.  His heart was pounded, threatening to break through his chest and end the agony itself.  His vision was fuzzy for a moment, but he could hear the thud and feel the needle rip from his neck.  He didn’t want to look, but after some ungodly length of silence he opened his eyes.

Sam’s body was limp on the floor by his feet.  Sam’s flesh was pale and gaunt, having been slowly drained of its life over the last eight hours.  Dean jerked & threw himself against his bindings in an attempt to get to his little brother, but it was no use.  He sat there staring into Sam’s blank eyes.  There was an emptiness in his heart that he couldn’t even begin to process.

Sam was dead and he didn’t want to be saved.  He’d made that clear over the last year.  He was gone.  There was only silence… loss… there was no justice- no hope- no purpose.  Sam had thrown his life away for nothing.

Dean didn’t even react to the sound of the door to the basement opening.  When Cas saw Sam, he ran to the youngest Winchester and felt for a pulse.  He looked up at Dean, who was still bound to the chair, and nodded in understanding of what had transpired.  Cas stood and gently freed Dean from his manacles.  

Dean tried to stand, but it was just too much for him.  Cas caught him as he stumbled, then lowered with him to the floor beside Sam’s body.  Cas held Dean, supporting his emotionally numbed form.  

“I… I was in Heaven when there was word that Hell had been sealed…”  Cas whispered.  “I thought…  I’m sorry.”

Dean gripped the collar of Cas’ trenchcoat and cried into the angel’s shoulder.  Cas held Dean closer to him.  There was nothing left to do, so Dean cried until he had no tears left.

“He didn’t die in vain.”  Cas offered as feeble comfort.  Dean stopped crying and turned his head to look at Sam.  In his grief he had only seen a body, not the man who was willing to die because he had faith in Dean.  He hadn’t stopped to really take in the expression on his little brother’s face.  Sam looked content, with one corner of his lips alluding to a smile.  He’d died feeling hopeful.

“He never was going to.”  Dean breathed, mostly to himself, after a thoughtful silence.  He looked up to Cas and kissed him.  They clung to each other as their lips parted in a kiss that Dean barely understood, but it was somehow the only certain thing in the world. When they stopped, Cas looked down at Dean without pulling away.

“What was that for?”  Asked the angel.

“Keeping a promise.”


End file.
